When Toddlers Go To Prison

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It can be lonely for a bloke like me in the “yard”.  Sometimes I just pace back and forth, thinking, dreaming of the outside….planning.

And one day it came to me.  It was brilliant.  So utterly simple…and right under my own nose.

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I just took these sticks, see?  And I slid ’em into the lock and jammed it, see?  And at 7 pm lights out, I pushed the door open, grabbed a spare Pampers and made a run for it. 

But not before ‘Ole Eagle Eye spotted me.  But I was prepared.  ‘Ole Eagle Eye was a sucker for the sweet stuff.  And I had the sweet stuff in spades, see?

 

 

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But that tough old bird had me dead to rights, I’ll give him that much.  My back was against the wall.  When things got a little dicey, I had to give ‘Ole Eagle Eye a bit ‘o toddler what-for. 

 

 

 

 

 

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Then I went straight for the heavy artillery.  A right hook to the sweet tooth and he was putty in my hands.  I walked outta that big stone lonesome and never looked back. 

But it ain’t easy for a tod like me; always on the run.noah-makes-his-way-in-the-world

Takin’ odd jobs to survivenoah-on-the-lookout.

Always lookin’ over my shoulder. 

But you see, it’s worth it ‘cuz I’m innocent.  As innocent as they come and life is good for me now.  Sometimes I wonder about the tods I left behind but they’ll find their way just like I did.

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And what about ‘Ole Eagle Eye and his ilk?

I got just one thing to say to those grizzled old birds.

So long suckers!