The Nirvana Chronicles – Day One

There is no place on earth that cleanses my soul like The Big Island.

Perhaps in another life, I was Hawaiian and I always feel like I’m coming home.  Or maybe there’s just something in the air here that makes me feel like I’m half a planet away from anything unpleasant.

Whatever the reason, the moment I step off the airplane and clamber down those familiar metal stairs twenty layers of daily grind fall away.  It’s a feeling I get a hankering for about every six months or so…like an internal alarm clock that tells me my psyche is getting threadbare and needs a mend.

And the healing comes quickly.

Day One was spent watching a sea turtle work its way up onto the beach for a sunbathe.

It was fascinating.

I first saw it rolling in the clear crest of a wave as it surged toward the sand, the sun catching it just right as to illuminate the journey.

Each wave carried him a little closer.

There was no hurry.

It made me think about Time and how we humans are enslaved by it.

And I decided that today I would not be.

So I waited and I watched as the power of the surf had its way with that sea turtle. He didn’t mind. He let himself go…patient…suspended and tossed about in that brilliant curl.

He would get to the beach in due time…on that one perfect wave that would propel him to his destination.

He made it. And there I was ready to snap a quick shot.

I thought to myself how odd it felt….

Me with my iPhone…to which I am chained and cannot live without.

And the sea turtle with nothing more than a wave to help it along.

I suspect I will have many more days of contemplating such things.

I want to stay this way forever.


How I Spent My Summer Vacation

I don’t care what people say.  Alien abductions are not that bad.

Yeah, there is that little dilemma of how to explain to your homies why you haven’t shown up at yoga for the last couple of months or why you have a giant pile of wet newspapers in your driveway but a simple explanation is generally all it takes to get things back on track.

So….now that I’ve gotten my power turned back on and convinced my husband to put that pesky divorce filing on hold, I’m ready to explain.

I was abducted by aliens on July 16th, 2012.  When one of those Spielberg-sized flying Frisbees descends on your house and catches you in a tractor beam? It just becomes one of those “It was beyond my control” kind of situations like going bat-shit crazy on a tele-marketer who calls during dinner with a great deal on time-shares.

Anyway, regardless of the rumors, aliens do not engage in anal probes [unless by special request] or anything related to anatomical exploration.  Truth be told, they are just like us.  They have problems they want you to help them solve. They need relationship advice. They need to vent about their families who visit and stay too long or their alien teenagers who text too much or won’t listen when told not to point their ray guns at each other.  You know, normal everyday stuff. Sometimes they just need a different perspective to help them along and I was more than happy to help.  All it cost  me was a couple of months out of my life. I considered it a distraction from the pressures of my own routine and it actually helped me focus on the important stuff.   I admit that being dematerialized and beamed back home was a little gnarly and I’m feeling a nagging void of some kind but other than that, I’m pretty solid.  I suspect I may have lost an organ during the process but I’m hoping it’s something I can live without like my appendix. So far, I can still pee and metabolize alcohol properly so I think I’ll put off the CT scan until I feel stuff shutting down.  No need to incur any more radiation, right?

So here’s a little advice from one earthling to another: If you’re abducted? Don’t panic. Don’t be afraid.  Help an alien brother out, ya know?  Take a deep breath, relax and enjoy the view from space. You’ll get back to the grind soon enough.