As I was getting undressed on my way to the security line at LAX the other day, I took notice of something. Maybe my magpie-ness was taking a down-for-maintenance hiatus like the ObamaCare Web-site. Or it could have been the sound of a woman colliding with a Sees Candy kiosk while sending a text. It was amazing how many people thought nuts and chews were fair game just because they landed on an airport terminal floor. Jesus, people! Get your priorities straight! Didn’t you notice the cans of Toffe-ette rolling toward the escalator?
But I digress as magpies often do. What I noticed wasn’t the sugar-junkies scrambling for the candy but rather the ones who were filming it. I had no inclination to film the carnage namely due to the fact that I don’t know how to do it on my “device” formerly known as a cell phone. I could probably figure it out if I took a few minutes to learn but I have no desire to learn new things. Besides, I had taken my undressing a little too far and had to put my shirt back on before the device-o-philes got bored with the candy looters and turned their attention my way.
What I’m taking too long to say is this: We have all become magpies. Some, like me, are what I’ll call low-tech magpies. Those limited to the shiny objects that pop up on their HuffPost News feeds…like that picture of Kim Kardashian’s post-baby ass tweet. And then there are those who transcend even the obvious moniker of hi-tech magpie. It goes beyond that. They’re the ones who actually provide the content that filters down to the low-rung magpies like me.
I’m undecided if I envy them or fear them.
I suppose that depends on whether my airport strip-tease ended up on YouTube or not.