Even Straws Get Make-Overs

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I have a thing about drinking chocolate liquid through straws.

The bendy kind, of course.

I have a ready-to-drink protein shake I kinda like. It’s a little chalky but I drink it and pretend it fills me up.

It doesn’t.

It goes down easier with lots of ice, a generous shot of REAL chocolate milk and a cutesy bendy straw. I tell myself the shot of real chocolae milk doesn’t negate the low sugar and low fat attributes of the protein shake.

It does.

I don’t care.

Back to the bendy straws…..

I bought a brand new box of them the other day and low and behold they have a NEW LOOK. Wow. I don’t recall the old look but they look the same to me.  They have stripes. They bend where they’re supposed to providing maximum flexibility to the drinker. They are plastic. I am uncertain of their recycleability…note to self…check this. [Or just assume they are and put them in the bin which is the lazy girl’s method].  The box instructs me to JUST BEND & SIP!  I chuckle at the notion that the bendy straw makers feel the need to tell me this. Then again, the plastic bag my dry-cleaning was covered in instructed me not to give it to a toddler as a toy so I shrug off the insult.

Perhaps it’s just the packaging that’s different because it doesn’t seem like bendy straws have that much room to….grow, aesthetically speaking.

I pull one out…drop it down into the smooth, icy goodness of my otherwise chalky protein shake that I made palatable by the real stuff. [And to reiterate, I do not feel bad about this. I take the art of denial very seriously.]  I stand back and observe before I partake. Yes. The straw looks the same as I remember.  This re-enforces my packaging theory. I take a fresh look at the box. I say “Not bad, straw folks. I don’t remember the old look but this one certainly doesn’t suck”.

I slurp down my hearty meal replacement and tell myself it’s satisfying.

I like this new-look-packaging notion. I’m unclear why they felt the need to do it but maybe it’s just because the straw folks felt they needed to keep up with the other straw folks. Maybe the others had brighter colors or slicker cardboard or God-knows-what.

I begrudgingly admit that everything, even bendy straws, have to get made over to be more relevant.

Fuck.

That irritating voice in my head tells me I have to keep up, too.

I inexplicably resist.

But…shit!  Even bendy straws get this?