Nine to be exact.
But the fact is, Nirvana was fleeting.
And then it was gone.
I’m not sure when I’ll get to that place again but I know the road will be longer this time.
A quick, cursory scan that registers nothing at all.
Today was different. It was a thumbnail photo on my desktop. A new one. Very small, half-inch if that. Of me.
I rarely have pictures of myself on my desktop. It’s probably just seeing an image that wasn’t there before. It’s nothing.
No. It’s something.
An otherwise perfectly mundane glance… ignited a memory.
It hit me hard in the gut. Way down deep in that place I try to forget I have.
I couldn’t put my finger on it right away.
Was it the shape of my head? The way I looked at the camera? How I was sitting?
No…I must be wrong because my memory sees dark hair.
It took maybe a minute or two for the memory to surface.
It came shooting up with unstoppable force…..as if a balloon was being held under water… and then let go.
It was my mother I was remembering. In one of my favorite pictures of her.
She was about three.