I [upside-down heart] Psoriasis!

Translation:  “I hate psoriasis”

For the record, I don’t suffer from psoriasis but if I did, I’m sure I would hate it.  I just chose that to illustrate my point [which, in the scheme of things is useless but somewhat interesting].

I’ve become fascinated with how we communicate. Probably because the way we communicate is changing so rapidly.  And, in my humble view, it’s not always for the better. I guess it’s cool that we can  connect with each other 27/7 using a mind-boggling array of methods from e-mails and texts to  [insert method of your choice] from wherever we are in the world.  It’s convenient, I admit . But it’s making us all a little more impatient and lazy in a certain way.  I’ve gotten so used to getting answers RIGHT NOW that when I don’t get them? I start getting serious ants in my pants and I have to remind myself that I sent that text question 12 seconds ago. Getting an answer back from my waxer about whether I can come in for a Brazilian next Friday isn’t urgent and doesn’t require an answer in 30 minutes or less or it’s free like a fucking pizza delivery. I constantly have to remind myself to stop, take a breath, and buy a disposal razor if I have to.  It’s not the end of the world.

But never mind all that. What I want to talk about here is what I’ll call “the symbolic sentence movement” for lack of a better phrase.  You know, using those little emoticons to denote feelings or set the tone of the written word?

Yes, I use them in moderation. Like Botox.  But I really only like two of them:  the smiley face and the heart.

Smiley faces are nice. They denote happiness. Hearts are wonderful because they denote love.  So prolific is the heart symbol that in their absence, we can just spell out the word and everybody gets it.

I heart puppies.

I heart Spanx [not really but you know what I mean]

I heart furry little bunnies.

But what about things you don’t like…or even hate?  Where’s the symbol for that?  I mean, everybody hates psoriasis, right?  I mean hates it!  It’s horrible.

Since emoticons are used to alert a reader to, according to Wikipedia “the tenor or temper of a statement”, there should be a symbol for it.

Given my limited tech knowledge, there probably is but I just don’t know the right key strokes to make it appear.

So I made my own hand-made version: the upside-down heart. Seems fitting that turning a heart upside-down would be a gentle substitute for the word “hate”.

I [upside-down heart] war.

I [upside-down heart] Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

I [upside-down heart] those tiny wrinkles around my mouth that nothing will fix. Grrrrrrr.

Yeah, somebody smarter and quicker than me has probably already come up with this upside-down heart notion.


I [heart] my upside-down heart.


Bowin in a wiiiinnn…just a taaay in a wiiiinnn….

Yeah, okay, I’m blatantly sharking from Jodie Foster’s performance in Nell but that’s what I feel like when one my electronic devices makes yet another sound I can’t figure out. It’s making my head spin and I’m seeing little blue birdies flying around. [not really. I was just messin’ around with PhotoBooth – one of the few things I’ve learned to use with relative proficiency]

Anyway, back to the issue at hand.  Since device A is trying to communicate with me, I’m going to try and do the same.


[ME to device A]   “Uh….are you telling me about a tree blowing in the wind?  Is that it?  ”

[device A]  two short clicks and a long bell.

[ME to device A]  “Okay, one more time. I didn’t get that. It sounded like chicka-chicka paaaay. Is that…what is that?? I need to “check” something? Or get paaaaaid for something?”

No response. Damn. Device A has shut down. Perhaps I frightened it with my aggressive approach. Where the hell’s Liam Neeson when I need him?

I guess I’ll just have to figure this out for myself. Maybe search for one of those little red dots by the thing that looks like a postage stamp. Thank the gods the symbol looks the same on every device. There could be a clue there. And I can’t forget the Google mail  and that Twitter thing.

Wait a minute…Twitter…blue birdies flying around my head. The Twitter logo is a blue bird, right?

Maybe I’m on to something!