The other day I went into a bit of a panic. I started to worry about running out of things to write about. I have some really dedicated friends to whom I pay big money to actually read what I write and make positive comments and I really don’t want to disappoint anyone. I think it may actually be a tax write-off as well so I would be bummed if people started to bail on me. The panic has passed, thankfully, with the help of a little Ativan and my own newly discovered method of gathering information. Rather than try to come up with something original, I just turn on the news. How divinely simple.
This morning, when I was flipping around different news channels to get a variety of perspectives on our impending doom as a nation, I saw an announcement that went something like this on the ticker at the bottom of the screen:
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has called upon the founders of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream to replace cow’s milk with that of human breast milk.
Well, now. That’s a novel idea.
I started asking myself questions: How many lactating women would it take to replace all that cow’s milk? Would women have to leave their homes (not to mention their own hungry babies) and sign some sort of “milking contract?” Or maybe Monsanto could just come up with a way to inject massive amounts of hormones into thousands and thousands of lactating mommies to make them produce twice as much milk in half the time while passing it off as safe. Sounds reasonable to me.
Wonder what they’ll call the stuff.