Confessions Of A Magpie: Part I

magpieThis is the first in an endless series…

…unless I suddenly throw all my electronic devices into the sea which isn’t going to happen because I get all my news on-line. I’m pretty basic about it: the New York Times Headlines, HuffPost, CNN, Women in Hollywood and my lame, confusing horoscope that tells me things like:  “your emotions sink into the deep waters of your subconscious, making the next few days a bit uncomfortable”.

So I’ve got that goin’ for me.

But never mind my subconscious.  I’m more worried about the crazy shit mucking up my focal awareness and causing me deep and profound personal distress.

How is it that I can be reading a completely serious news article on-line about, say, a devastating tornado…or a crazy suicide bomber and WHAM-O, my beady, black eyes drift to a shiny, sparkly headline like this:  Lindsay Lohan Wears Some Seriously Short Shorts.

And I’m ashamed.

I feel like a magpie reading porn in church.





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