Rage Against The Machines

One of my favorite pastimes is bitching and moaning about technology and how it makes me feel stupid, frustrates me and generally makes me cross.  I dedicate entire blog posts to spewing caffeine-fueled passive-aggressive I-love-it / I-hate-it diatribes even though it makes me look like a female version of the Uni-bomber.

[note to self….switch to herbal tea, shave the beard and move out of the log cabin]

But hear me now you blog peeps. On this glorious fifth day of May, Cinco de Mayo, in the year of our Lord, 2012…I am turning over a new leaf.  Making a pact. Taking a vow. An oath. A promise. A commitment. A self-baptism into….

Organized techno-worship.

I accept Technology as my personal Lord and Savior.

[symbolically spritzing myself with Tequilla]

Why the sudden conversion, you ask?  Was it a lightning bolt from heaven?  A nocturnal visit from a virginal something or another?  A cryptic image of Steve Jobs on a grilled ham-and-cheese?  What?

Nothing quite that dramatic, I must admit.

It was as simple as……a lost cell phone.

Yes, a lost phone that was later recovered but the experience was profound. Eye-opening, epiphany-esque, life-changing if I may be so bold and melodramatic.

The devastating experience of being out-of-touch –  even for a brief moment in time – was so distressing, so utterly beyond my measly human cognitive skills to comprehend that it has changed my DNA…elevated me to a state of enlightenment.

[okay…enlightenment may be a little overboard and it’s probably the Tequilla talkin’ but stay with me here…enlightenment doesn’t come along very often]

From this day forward…..

I accept and embrace the machines I have previously raged against.

I am a disciple. A follower. A fisher of men.

Until, of course, something fucks with me and I change my mind.






Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments