If You Stop Swimming, You’ll Die!

My husband has the attention span of a lightning bolt.

And he’s a little rough around the edges but his heart of gold makes up for it.  He’s the kind of man who wears generosity like some people wear t-shirts.  He drags home interesting people he meets at airports or on golf courses and comes to the aid of friends and supports his community and recycles and lots of other great stuff that I love.  In a word, he’s a character. And I just love characters!

I’m thankful that his ADD isn’t ADHD which is to say his attention deficit doesn’t come with hyperactivity.  He’s not frenetic in his energy but rather……hmmmm…..how do I put it??  He kind of flows like a river…. A really fast moving river….with lots of big boulders that he just rolls over like they’re not even there because, after all, that river has to get somewhere fast, right?

So, the other day we’re in LA for a wedding and in typical flowing river form he’s in a hurry to get to the wedding so we can be there early so we can wait for said wedding to start.  If he had his way, he would have gotten that wedding going ahead of schedule because, well, he arrived early and it would be really great if we could get this show on the road so we could all hurry up and get to the next event and get it started early and so on and so forth until he’s rushed about 4 years off his life.

As he was rushing me along as is his M.O. (he hates it when I wash my hair because that means blow dryer and blow dryer equals more time to get ready which equals the possibility of being on time rather than early) and I got frustrated.

ME

God damn it!  You’re like a fucking shark!  You think if you stop swimming, you’ll die.  Now leave me the hell alone so I can put on my mascara without putting my eye out!

This stopped him in his tracks.

Then he laughed out loud.  The kind of laugh that makes my heart sing because it was me who caused it and I love to make him laugh.    And this guy can laugh at himself like nobody’s bi-nuss.  Something else I love about him.

When we got home, I was determined to get to the bottom of that shark swimming reference because I had read something about sharks and drowning if they stop swimming.

Ah ha!!  Found it.

It’s called “ram ventilation” and there are certain breeds of modern sharks that actually will drown if they stop swimming.

Naturally, I sent him a text to extol the brilliance of my shark death research:

MY TEXT

I was right, shark man!

HIS TEXT

Then I guess I should keep swimming.

Good point!

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Kitty
July 23, 2009 9:31 am

What a comeback text!

You are a funny girl. My husband is like that, wants to hurry hurry hurry all the time just so we can wait. It’s like his clock ticks too fast.
And me, I’m sooooooo slow.

Should be a nightmare marriage, but it works. Mostly because we just laugh about it all at the end of the day.

Dominic
Dominic
July 27, 2009 6:48 pm

Never late. Are you sure?