My Life Of Crimes
Of the heart that is.
I am a bon-o-fide offender.
In fact, habitual.
The other day I had to fill out something that required me to list ALL the names under which I have been known throughout my life.
I thought nothing of it, snatched up my favorite pen so my penmanship wouldn’t go all wonky and followed the instructions.
Then I looked down and saw how many names there were.
My life as five women.
From my birth through the present.
Five very different lives.
Sad but true, I am the Sybil of matrimony.
I hadn’t felt this embarrassed since Mrs. Brown yelled at me on the first day of kindergarten for standing on a chair.
And that was when I only had ONE name.
This gave my psyche a major jolt, like a million cups of Joe hitting my system all at once.
It bothered me….a little.
Then it pissed me off.
I should have answered with something snarky like “What’s it to ya?” or “None of your beeswax” but I chose to be honest and “beeswax” sounds so juvenile.
Next time I’m going to use Jane Doe.
I love the name Jane.