Why I’m Grumpy
Besides women who leave public toilet seats wet with their own urine, I’m grumpy because of Free Credit Report dot com.
Since I sleep alone often (not by choice but rather circumstance), the T.V. is a nightly companion. I turn the volume down really low when I’m ready to fall asleep… just enough to drown out any creepy noises.
I hate creepy noises. Always have.
Generally, I’m pretty brave but something about shutting my eyes and surrending to sleep when I’m by myself has never been easy.
Okay…I’ll say it! I’m yellow… a fraidy cat….lily-livered, mamby pamby, a chicken.
Happy now?
Well, I for one feel better for admitting it and this place is, after all, all about me so there.
And now back to why I’m grumpy (as if anybody really gives a shit but see previous statement).
There is one thing that can turn my middle-of-the-night fraidcat-ness into full frontal aggression and that’s being jarred awake at 2 a.m. when that fucking Free Credit Report dot com commercial comes on and turns my subtle T.V. volume from soothing to sleep-through-this-regardless-0f-your-Ambien alarm clock.
Why is it that commercial has mega-watt sound? It’s like, 20 times louder than even those male enhancement commercials which, given their time-slots and the fact that most people are watching them in bed with their partners (except me), might actually make sense.
Isn’t jarring volume used as a torture device in certain cultures? (uh….like ours?)
Does anybody else find this irritating?
I’m assuming, of course, that there are other freaks out there with the same I-can’t-sleep-alone-without-the-T.V.-on problem which is presumptuous on my part.
I’m thinking stronger prescription.
Or I could just turn the fucking thing off.
does ambien come in extra, extra strength?
That and that damn monkey fighting Extenze commercial.
Seriously horrifying.
Extenze….great name for a male “enhancer” huh? I prefer Extendodick myself. Guess I wouldn’t make a very good marketeer. When I was little, my sister got some sort of teen girl mag that featured a boob enhancing device. It was a big cup-like thing with suction on it. Hmmmmm….makes one wonder whatever happened to it. Probably turned it into something for men.
I heard the Sham Wow guy was going to start pitching “free credit report.com” Now that is some good late night advertising.
God, I love that Sham Wow guy. He’s hot. But I read somewhere that he beat up his girlfriend. Ohhh, the sordid lives of the famous.
Suggestion:
Get a 15 month old baby, you can sleep through anything else!
Get a baby? Hey! Great idea, Dom! Unfortunately, I don’t have a uterus so that rules out the more economical choice of a homemade version. Any advice on where I can arrange for a rent-a-tod?
I cannot fall asleep to TV anymore because the decibel level on commercials is so screaming loud — and I have to fall asleep with some sound background so I put a dvd in now instead. It is also freaking painful real time to try to watch television because you will be watching your show and it will get lower and lower you will have to keep jacking the sound up and then bam! A commercial with volume that would be illegal coming off a plane over a residential area hits. I mostly record programs and watch them after because… Read more »
Max, think I’m going to take up reading again. That usually makes me drowsy enough to give in to sleep. And there’s always one of those satellite music channels….that’s a possibility because I still have to consider the “creepy sounds” factor. I just hate the possibility of hearing creepy sounds. Must…drown….out…creepy….sounds.