SCP Seeks Same
Single, cream-colored pump seeks like-minded mate for quiet, candlelit dinners, Broadway musicals and intimate getaways to exotic locales. I’m the designer sort but not pretentious; neutral but still possessing a subtle sense of color. Average in height, I’m even considered practical by some fashion-forward thinkers. But make no mistake, I am all woman and comfortable in my own skin. I can easily move from boardroom to bedroom with confidence and grace. I’m a little naughty, a little nice. Dare I say, I go with just about everything?
So…Now you know me. Interested? Serious inquiries only. Reply to SCP3456.
(Jesus H. Christ! Will somebody tell me how in theee hell I can lose one goddamn shoe??)
Im dying over here…the “lone” shoe
Im sure you could go look into one of the many “full length house” closets that adorn your parents home and find a similar match. Of course it probably came from the deceased or a church rummage sale from 1972….Just a thought.
And in answer to your question. I have no @#$@’n clue.
Should I expect a ransom note from one of those pesky chillens?
I believe Marshals has the same shoe, and it’s so ‘inexpensive’ (cheap) that you could buy the pair and have a spare. You know, in case the other shoe dies of old age.
Actually, I’m starting to get used to being lop-sided. Remind me to tell you about my “Dallas shoe incident”. It’s waaay funnier than one missing pump.
Wild escapades?
Probably, but you don’t really expect me to admit that, do you?? Might tarnish my image.
I have an idea for a new product. It’s called “Make-A-Shoe”. We can get Billy Maze to pitch it. This way you can make a match for the one that has gone missing. Hey, maybe baby Noah took it with him when he broke out of baby prison.
Funny, bro. Can you save the jokes and please wrestle the damn thing away from your klepto-kids and send it back to me? I got the ransom note and I’ve agreed to the terms. Now cough it up.