Since I’m obsessed with those As Seen on TV products (even though none of them work worth a shit), I’m on the verge of ordering one of those nifty eavesdropping devices. The ones that sort of looks like a hands-free cell phone receiver?
Of all the products I’ve seen and ordered, this one has got to be the coolest! I am dying to find out what my neighbor says about me when I go to my mailbox sans bra in a stretch-out wife beater tank and my favorite plaid flannel jammie pants with the frayed bottoms. Or better yet, what salespeople actually say about me after I walk out the door with a pair of jeans designed for someone half my age that I will more than likely return once that lunchtime martini wears off and I’m left with a brutally honest full length mirror that I swear my husband purchased from a carnival as a cruel joke.
This is what I suspect he/she is saying as I walk out the door with my over-priced pair of jeans:
OMG! Like, she was so, like, not red-carpet, you know? I mean, she was like, a size 29!!
Actually, they were probably a size 30 but I subscribe to the belief that size does NOT matter.
So…I’m still debating which one of those gossip magnifiers to buy. There’s one called Loud ‘n Clear and another one called Listen Up. It’s a tough choice but that As Seen on TV products web-site is full of super cool products and sometimes I have trouble staying focused.
I recommend that site to everyone regardless of the bogus claims that the products actually work. I’m like a moth to a flame every time I go there. I strongly suggest checking out the Personal Care section. There, you’ll find a DVD collection called Better Sex Video Series on the same page as a product called Blo and Go.
Am I crazy or do those two products contradict each other?