Miracle Ear

Since I’m obsessed with those As Seen on TV products (even though none of them work worth a shit), I’m on the verge of ordering one of those nifty eavesdropping devices.   The ones that sort of looks like a hands-free cell phone receiver? 

 

Of all the products I’ve seen and ordered, this one has got to be the coolest!  I am dying to find out what my neighbor says about me when I go to my mailbox sans bra in a stretch-out wife beater tank and my favorite plaid flannel jammie pants with the frayed bottoms.  Or better yet, what salespeople actually say about me after I walk out the door with a pair of jeans designed for someone half my age that I will more than likely return once that lunchtime martini wears off and I’m left with a brutally honest full length mirror that I swear my husband purchased from a carnival as a cruel joke. 

 

This is what I suspect he/she is saying as I walk out the door with my over-priced pair of jeans:

 

SNARKY SALESPERSON

 

OMG!  Like, she was so, like, not red-carpet, you know?  I mean, she was like, a size 29!!

 

Actually, they were probably a size 30 but I subscribe to the belief that size does NOT matter.

 

So…I’m still debating which one of those gossip magnifiers to buy.  There’s one called Loud ‘n Clear and another one called Listen Up.  It’s a tough choice but that As Seen on TV products web-site is full of super cool products and sometimes I have trouble staying focused.

 

I recommend that site to everyone regardless of the bogus claims that the products actually work.  I’m like a moth to a flame every time I go there.  I strongly suggest checking out the Personal Care section.  There, you’ll find a DVD collection called Better Sex Video Series on the same page as a product called Blo and Go. 

 

Am I crazy or do those two products contradict each other?

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Dan
Dan
March 3, 2009 7:04 pm

Steph and I just said the other day that we did not get to see your tater mitts. They actually make these hearing devices for hunters too. I would be afraid of what the animals are saying about me while I’m in my deer stand.

Dominc
Dominc
March 4, 2009 5:32 am

No don’t do it! before long you will end up like me, not alowed to answer the front door in case it’s a salesman or women. I buy everthing, but mysteriously they all vanish within 50 feet of my wife, as they know they are crap.

Kitty
March 4, 2009 10:02 am

Haha, you crack me up. I have the Miracle Ear somewhere around here with a dead battery. It works but it picks up a lot of static, if I remember right.
I got it to watch late night tv while everyone else slept since I’m such a late nighter. Plus I was a big fan of the Bionic Woman, so. Had to have it. Just because.

michele
March 4, 2009 9:28 pm

I see the beginning of a script with that thing. Things overheard…