I Am Not An Advertising Victim
The other day I read an article in the Economist entitled The Way The Brain Buys.
It talked about marketing firms and the experimental tactics they use on all of us out here in consumerland as they try and figure out how to get us to chose this brand or that or convince us that not using Janitor in a Drum will undoubtedly result in a slow decline into filth that will land us on Oprah’s couch pouring our hearts out about how we got in this germ-infested mess and can she please, please hook us up with one of her experts? She has one for every disorder.
Personally, I’m not so gullible as to be taken in by some ridiculous ad campaign that promises something I know it can’t deliver. Really! I’m not! Take these golf balls for example. Clearly, they are targeting a male audience. They use suggestive phrases like “get long” on the packaging. The back of the box promises even more: Are you experienced? Then you know it’s all about being free. Free to groove your swing. Free to hit that thing. Free to play the day away”.
What guy wouldn’t want to groove his swing or hit that thing?
How do I know what’ s on the back of the box, you ask? Well… I bought them. For myself. But I want everyone to know that it I did NOT buy them because I’m sucked in by the subliminal messages or the catchy phrases or any of that other psycho-nonsense they described in the article. No, no no!
I bought them because they’re so cool!
Come on! MOJO!?
And the colorful box!?
And they’re Nike, the coolest company with the coolest athletes.
I will be a totally cool golfer with these puppies.
I hope I don’t lose them all.
But I can buy more, right?
Now I know your secrets!! I guess you won’t be using the “juice” anymore… 🙂
Yes, I have outted myself. No more secrets to why I’m such a stellar golfer! These definitely go straighter and farther than “mere mortal” golf balls. It’s okay, you can be jealous. I won’t hold it against you.
All something has to say is “as seen on tv” and it’s in my shopping cart already.
Just a couple of days ago I bought that Shamwow thing. I thought for sure it would really dry off my dogs after I bathed them. No dice, man. The tv showed them drying off a short haired dog (mine have long hair). I should have never fallen for that, but I did. LOL.
I also have the Magic Bullet, the Shed Ender, oh, oh, oh, and that Paw Pal thing that trims the dogs nails (piece of crap, I tell you).
Oh, Kitty! We are on the same wavelength, my friend. You’ll appreciate my next post which is all about a package gone astray that is full of As Seen On TV Products!! I’m BUMMED about the ShamWow! I was seriously going to order one for the kitchen and two each for the bathroom. Oh well, you know what they say about being too good to be true…. You followin’ me camera guy? (that announcer is so cheesy!)
Ya know something….I don’t even play golf and I want those darn balls! They had me at ‘get longer’…….
By the way Julie, when you’re on a golf course and someone yells ‘fore (or is it four?) what the heck is that supposed to mean?
Sharona, you ask the darndest questions!
It’s actually “fore” as opposed to “four” but I don’t think anyone will question the spelling if there’s a 100mph golf ball flying at their noggins. I looked it up on Wikipedia and according to the Golf Museum somewhere “over there” where golf began, it is believed to come from the military term “beware before”. Guess they yelled it on a battlefield to warn the other side they were about to be shot.
“you following me camera guy?’
“I’m tired of selling this, it sells itself.”
Man. We are always running around quoting that crazy commercial. You crack me up.
Kitty,
I’m still bummed that the ShamWow didn’t live up to that guy’s enthusiastic endorsement! So very, very convincing. Then there’s that OTHER guy who used to hawk that Oxi-Clean stuff; Billy Maze. He’s sooo loud! It makes me want to buy just to shut him up!! His newest product is FixIt scratch remover. It’s only $9.95!