Milk It, Girlfriend!

Welcome home, Maddie-Moo!  Now we really have something in common besides both being girls: nasty scars of our very own!  I have made mine my friend.  I see it every day, say hi to it. Yo, scar….wassuuuuup? Can I get you anything? Some vitamin E oil, maybe?  You’ll be happy to know that it doesn’t speak back to me.  I’m pretty certain yours won’t either.  But, hey, it’s all yours, baby girl; so if you want to talk to it, you go right ahead.


Now, listen up, home-kitty, your wise ole’ auntie has a wee bit of advice on how you can milk this surgery thing for all it’s worth.  You probably won’t ever get another sweet opportunity like this any time soon and time is of the essence since you’ll be up and kickin’ it in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.


Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about whining or torturing your parents into getting you a flat screen T.V. or an i-Pod Touch.  It’s about gently persuading those around you to wait on you hand and foot, feed you grapes, scratch your back, fluff your pillows, and fetch your fuzzy slippers, stuff like that.   It’s simple. It’s all in the eyes and it will serve you well when you become a w-o-m-a-n.


Here’s how it goes; you see something you need, let’s say, in your case…. a big frosty glass of 2% milk (after all, you are from Illinois and you are still a kid).  You’re flat on your back and you don’t want to get up. You simply look around for the nearest human, stare them down until they look your way (which they will because humans become uncomfortable when stared at) then make your move.  Widen those baby blues to the size of saucers while simultaneously turning down the corners of your mouth ever so slightly. If you can coax your peepers to water a bit, then you’re golden.  You don’t even need to speak; people will come rushing to your side straightaway. But don’t forget to croak out a weak “thank you”. It will set you up nicely for the next time.  But more importantly, minding your manners while you’re manipulating is mandatory.   That’s my charm school motto. Feel free to us it.


I have to tell you – my little sugar beet – that you are one brave cookie and I am achingly proud of you and wish I could be there to hang in your groovy upstairs bedroom and talk fashion but things just happened too darn fast.  You know I love you to pieces and yes…okay…fine!  I love your sister, too!  But please give her a poke and tell her to pipe down.  I can hear her corn-fed lips flapping all the way out here on the Left Coast! Geez!!!


P.S.  Now don’t you worry about that hair business.  Short is the new long!












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September 18, 2008 12:06 am

Nice blog.

September 18, 2008 1:43 am

Aunt J.
I will do everything in my power to follow your west coast words of wisdom. Thank you for everything these past few days and for the cool stuff. I am anxious to see you and uncle c real soon. I miss and love you both very much.

Cousin Benjamin
September 19, 2008 5:11 am

damn straight, Mads! Julie is right – you are one brave cookie. Short hair is the only way to go!

September 21, 2008 2:27 am

There is a lot of good advice here, sweet sister. I think I’ll try some of the suggested moves on my friend Al. And Maddie, if Grandma B was around, she would tell you to start a new hair fad. I did try to start the red rubber boots fad, but that didn’t work out too well so don’t try that one.
p.s. Did you have the doctor pierce your belly button when you were out?

September 22, 2008 1:49 am

Wait just a dog gone minute. If people are telling her to milk it I have a strong feeling that I am going to be on the receiving end of this “Milking It” idea, which after some thought, since it is my girl, I really dont mind too much. Although she will still need to finish her chores before anyone gets any glass of milk and red boots. I want to tell you Maddie that you have done a wonderful job the last few days and I am very proud of you.
I Love you,

September 22, 2008 1:54 am

If I can, I want to take a minute to tell Mary that she has been very patient and loving the last week with everything that has been going on. I know a lot of focus has been on sis and I want you to know how great you have been and how much the 3 of us love you. I can remember when you were milking it also, we all caved.

dtb, ssb, mdb